Mass-hole Vegetarian Chili

Mass-hole Vegetarian Chili


My housemate’s girlfriend from Massachusetts — a self described Mass-hole — created this very simple recipe that incorporates lots of actual vegetables, without the usual drawback of being watery. It’s very flexible too. You can leave out or add in stuff at your whim. There’s lots of winging it involved.


    1 medium onion

    1 large carrot

    1 medium or 2 small zucchini – Smaller ones have better flavor.

    1 bell pepper – Any color. Your choice.

    2 cans (or 1 large can) of tomato puree – Crushed or diced tomatos will also work.

    a little olive oil

    1 pound fake ground beef — I prefer Quorn brand because it is not made with soy, but anything will do.

    something sweet — Just a little to counter the acid of the tomatos. I use brown sugar. Honey or plain sugar would also be just fine.

    2 cans of beans — Whatever you like. I use 1 can pintos & 1 can black beans.

    1 or 2 jalapeno peppersroptional — I don’t use them, but you can if you’d like some additional heat.

    salt & pepper — to taste


Roughly chop onion, peppers, and carrot. Chop zucchini into half or quarter moons — not too small. Drain the liquid from the cans of beans.

In olive oil, sautee onions til well cooked. Add in peppers and carrots and cook til just done. Add fake beef, cans of beans, cans of tomato. Simmer together for a few minutes. Add zucchini and simmer until it is just cooked. The chili is done when the zucchini is done. Add sugar, salt & pepper to taste.

Serve with sour cream & grated cheese on top, and corn chips on the side.


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